My Suicide / Archie’s Final Project (2009 film)

This movie gets all the trigger warnings. It’s brash, insensitive, very incel-esque.

I first saw this movie when I was probably about 15 and instantly became obsessed, for a few reasons.

1. I wanted to be a film editor! This project was so fun, creative and I loveeeeee mixed media. I think this movie so unique in it’s visual language and techniques, with lots of exploration of animation & the use of archival footage.

2. I had a fixation with films that tackled suicide as a teenager. I think because I was so miserable.

I’ve seen this film so much and I’ve shown it to so many people and my feelings change about it so much throughout the years.

It’s an intense film not only because it covers suicide, but it also delves into the psyche of a teenage boy in the 2000’s… in a very incel / school shooter way. I’ve gone back and forth in liking the protagonist. At first, I liked him, I loved him. I think I was accepting of this psyche. Like, the way that Archie treats Sierra is HORRIBLE (the objectifying porn edit of her as an invitation to hang out was as choice) and when I first watched it, I remember being like “yeah, I’d let someone treat me like this” or at least didn’t think it was that big of a deal.

I guess that’s one of my biggest take aways from my latest viewing. Archie is such an incel and it’s so interesting that I used to entertain and enjoy this type of company. I had so much love and compassion for Archie when I first watched this film, and if I watched it for the first time today, I think I would be absolutely disgusted by him, but I think I’d still be fascinated (incels are fascinating to me).

The last time I watched this movie with people, I was really uncomfortable because it seemed to make them uncomfortable. I’m not sure if it was the suicide part or the “dark edgy” humor of it all. I’m not sure, but I think about that a lot.

I feel like as someone who is trying to live a feminist life, this film almost feels like a guilty pleasure because I feel like most feminist would want to destroy this movie out of it’s sheer grodiness but I feel like there’s something of value. Of at least archival purposes? Like, this film is very of it’s time… it feels so 2009 and I feel like for 2009 it really embraced the medium in a really fun way, and the characters feel nostalgic as well.

I’m going to think about this more and maybe come back to this so stay tuned for more thoughts… maybe