How To Start To Develop Self-Image | Sarah Schauer

Okay I first want to say that Sarah and I have so much in common. My parents were also emotionally negligent, so I relate to a lot of Sarah’s stories and I feel like we’ve walked down similar paths and think similarly and have a similar sense of humor. Sarah is a navy brat, I’m a navy brat. Parents didn’t give a fuck about them, same here. Also Sarah is my role model.

• Relatable:

  • Emotionally negligent parents

  • On being called jaded; my friends called me “the grinch” because I “had no heart” because I was so out of touch with my emotions. This is really interesting considering the fact that I consider myself very emotional, and I think I always have. But I was really good at concealing it in front of people because my parents would beat me for crying.

• Video Notes

  • Happiness is earned, not easy, worked on, pursued (Sarah says this quite a bit, the key to learning is repetition)

  • We often see ourselves as a tool, as working on ourselves, as play has been demonized for adults.

  • Depressing emotions literally lock your mind and body into physical place

    • Capitalism, oppressive structures

  • Emotions associated with playfulness is associated with movement of mind and body; expression is movement

  • We were taught this is bad (like dancing)

• EMDR; I’ve tried this, I like this therapy!

• Self image (witness your whole humanity);

  • not complete if you just focus on the work you do. Zoom out and look at the context. Play can develop perspective because it does not focus on productivity.

    • Focus = you

    • Backdrop = peripheral

    • Zooming out / develop the rest of the image to develop self work

      • Step back = you know how much something is worth

• Midlife crisis = never played to develop full self so they break. “my parents never did this for me because xyz so I’m doing it now!”

• Play where you left off

• “You can’t get executive dysfunction without being the executive of your body”

• Rumination? Play more, move, tactile, touch sense

• Play to experience, not to win (not to work)

  • Diffuses pressure in your brain

• If you don’t want to think; move!

  • walk, stim, jump, dance