The Queer Terror of I Saw the TV Glow

2:06 “for some people, a life altering film about discovering something about yourself that you don’t possess the language or understanding to articulate but that the world around you tries to crush out of you”

• YES it has changed my life because of this.

Everything about this movie is amazing, and the CINEMATOGRAPHY

• NEON, and beautiful

As the movie progresses, it gets visually darker, the world is more empty. Lonely. Safe.

• Owen stops trying to understand, so he slowly fades into the background

• 
  

I love this movie because I feel like I’ve been both Owen and Maddy. I feel like I know how painful it is to not live an authentic life for the comfort and ease of both yourself and others. I’ve also been the person to try to drag those I love into a more authentic way of being together, only for the person to back out because, its hard, scary, or they just weren’t ready or interested. I think this movie does really good job at articulating the pain of these experiences.

• Maddy notices that she’s different, and she confronts it head on

  • The show (the pink opaque) makes her feel understood

    • The characters are like family

• Owen has no desire to articulate the way that she’s trapped in the wrong body.

  • When maddy pressures her, Owen tattles

    • she’s committed to staying in the place, not changing, not growing. Gets rewarded with relative safety.

“A beating heart of radiant sincerity” ❤

“Every decision that Owen makes is passive. Taking an active role in one’s own life is a difficult thing to learn”

• I’ve been trying to learn how to do this. I’ve noticed that I can be so passive and sometimes feel like life is happening to me.

THERE IS STILL TIME

30:16 “the best and most important time to be alive is always going to be right now. now you have agency now things can change as a direct result of your actions. the past is the past and you’ve got to go out and and live your life enjoy the things you love find people to spend time with all that sappy stuff.”

We see Owen fall into the trapping and scripts of the suburban life.

“imagine compromising everything just because other people were a little uncomfortable”

Other moments from the movie that I think about often

• When Owen is screaming at the birthday party at the end

  • The way that everyone freezes

  • The way that no one notices her apologies afterwards

• Jack’s delivery of the line “I found my heart, Isabel – oh my god – I found yours too. And it was still beating”

“You can’t wait around for your friends and family to understand you.”

• Time is limited, and they may never put the effort into it

• But you can do it for yourself.